Tonight I met a mutual friend of mine and my ex. Within minutes of greeting each other, he asked me why my ex and I were no longer together. I was shocked. I mean, it has been over a year and half, and let’s be frank here, people are free to choose the people they wish to spend their time/life with. I quickly told him that we had grown apart and that, funnily enough, we were closer than ever. Then he said something that kind of infuriated me. He said, “He’s made the biggest mistake of his life.”
Apart from the whole world finding it hard to understand why we broke up (there were very legitimate reasons…) and finding it near impossible to understand how we can still be close friends (actually, we both agree that we’re closer as friends) after a break-up, I just don’t know why people assume that when two people treat each other with respect (in spite of any conflict or disagreements they might have), those two individuals are perfect for each other.
I beg to differ.
Let me first state clearly that, yes, I was very much in love with my ex and I do still love him dearly. The person that I fell in love with still exists and I still interact with that person. I don’t believe that just because we are no longer romantically involved that we shouldn’t respect and honour the good we initially saw in each other. Actually, quite the opposite.
That said, I am surprised, shocked even, that no one else (apart from my ex and I) thinks like this. Is it an unspoken rule that we forgot to learn about cutting your ex from your life? Did w transcend from that human habit of holding on to the negative, forgetting all the positive value that person had on your life?
I just don’t know. Why is it so hard for people to believe that two people that used to go out are just close friends?